Embracing Our Value by Mary Lane Author of Divine Nourishment: A Woman's Sacred Journey with Food "Don't ever be so foolish as to think you know how God's energy will come to you."     - The Oak Tree Women have become super women within the environment of the collective belief system. We are everything to everyone. We fulfill a purpose in life that ensures our value, hence our survival. This is escalating in our society as we take care of family, home, relationships, work - everyone but our self. Far too many of us have personal experience of not having our survival ensured by staying home and just caring for our children when death of a partner or divorce occurs. This vulnerability has shifted the picture of families. Unfortunately, we are juggling more and more. It is not enough. We still don't feel we have a place in our tribe as a valued member. We can never prove our self enough. Because, deep down we believe there is something inherently wrong with us just because we are a woman. It is a hopeless situation when we are looking toward the tribe to reflect our value. The collective belief runs far too deep, and the winds can change in a heartbeat within the tribe's perception of what is valuable. The child within, who has separated from the whole, is constantly terrified into a fight or flight mode. We run faster and faster, trying to keep up with the demands we have put upon our self, fighting for our place in society. Or we retreat and hide, stay small and invisible. It is the natural reaction and the only way a child in shame knows to respond to the situation when it feels its survival is at stake. Fulfilling a purpose that is valued by the tribe of billions is a daunting task. Once we have found one that feels as if it gives us a place in society, we hang on for dear life and it becomes who we are. We completely identify with this purpose. Hopefully, it is a big enough purpose that ensures survival. If not, we are left with the alternative of not being able to accomplish a purpose that feels grand enough. We live with the feeling of always falling short. This confirms that something must be wrong with us. Hanging onto the identity of our purpose and putting our self into a box that fits within our tribe cuts off the flow. We can't afford to allow the many flavors of our being to be felt or seen. We can't afford to listen to our heart and flow into another direction. We can't afford to live in the adventure of the unknown and surrender to it. We can't afford to live by nature's wisdom and flow. How can we be sure we will survive if we take our self out of this box and no longer leave it to the tribe's opinion of us? That is who we look to for the reflection of our value. That is who we turn to for love. We can not survive without love. How will we survive if we give up control? If we don't feel loved and connected to whoever we surrender with, how can we surrender to the flow? How can we feel our value if we are just flowing along, shifting, changing, going from one experience to the next? What will our tribe do with that scenario? What will they do with not being able to identify us and put us in a box that they understand? Now we are really asking for it. Now we have no chance of survival-or so it seems. This has a lot to do with why we cannot live by nature's wisdom, which does not play by the tribe's rules. The Earth is the physical self similar embodiment of our Divine Mother. Who loves us more than our Mother? Who reflects our perfection back to us, no matter what, more than Mother? Who ensures our survival more than our Mother? It is obvious that she is caring for us. She provides food that supports our physical health and allows us to have this human journey. It is literally provided for us exactly at the most optimum times of the year that best serves our health and our well-being. She provides the natural medicine we need when we get out of balance, or injured along our journey. She offers infinite opportunities to experience life through every sense and emotion. She supports us to grow and evolve through her example as she cycles through never-ending life and death, with no beginning and no end. She is reflecting our own immortality. Her immense love is evident. Just as one plant or animal becomes food for another, all can experience their Divine existence in this physical realm. Her love is unconditional. We do not need to prove our self to her. We are perfect and Divine, just as we are. Is this someone we could surrender to, knowing that she will give us exactly what we need when? Is this someone worth honoring, respecting and caring for? If nature is providing that well for us with such a deep reflection of love, so is our Divine Mother. We cannot surrender control to someone we don't feel loved by. When we are in the flow, open to where it guides us, physically, emotionally and spiritually we are led to what will fulfill our needs in the present. We can trust that we will be cared for. When we separate our needs from our wants, we find that our needs are always fulfilled. Our wants are a different story. Women have convinced themselves for so long that we have no needs, it is not easy to differentiate and know what they are. This takes time to experience and identify. Once they are identified without effort, we can draw them to us. Let go and trust they will be met when it is appropriate. Connecting with nature and her wisdom is a way to commune with the Divine that does not require any particular spiritual belief. It is a solid, everyday, practical way for women, in particular, to find strength and connection, to raise our vibration through this love as we grow and evolve. We can nurture our self as we go through our journey of healing and reclaiming the Divine Feminine within. Everything is self-similar. When we can receive this love from our Mother, it supports us to embrace, nurture and love all the parts of our self. The Divine Mother within can surround and embrace all the wounded aspects that are in need of love. This is a key to integration and wholeness. We are no longer looking for our value to a society that is also finding its way on this journey. We can relax, surrender and allow the flow to happen as our heart guides us from one experience after another that is integral to our Divine human experience. I struggled with the issue of finding my valued place in the world for survival and the fear of this wounded child unconsciously for years. My entire life has been focused on the healing of the Divine Feminine in some way. Every inspired venture has reflected this. I would spend a period of time, energy, money creating a body of work that supported the healing of the feminine, or express her essential qualities. As soon as it was time to put it out into the world, I froze. The project went nowhere except the shelf. I then went into despair. Over time this became exhausting and I began to lose heart. I carried the unconscious conditioning and belief that I must contribute something of great value to the world to ensure my own survival. Deep down I felt that otherwise, I didn't deserve to live. I unconsciously was desperate to prove to myself, and the world, that I had value. But the fearful child wanted to protect and ensure its own survival, and sabotaged every effort. This was a chronic pattern. If my path were about being a plumber or something similar, the child in me may have not been so terrified. But it was always related to the deep wounding and healing of the feminine. This terrified the child. It was this deep wounding that created the soul fragmentation to begin with. The combination of falling short within the tribe, with the child's fear of survival and shame, was deadly. Turning to nature and seeing my value through her eyes slowly strengthened me. It was the foundation for me to heal this dynamic. When I combined it with the understanding of this unconscious reality and other tools, I witnessed a dramatic shift in my life. And the journey continues with great appreciation for it. Living and nourishing ourselves with the map of nature's wisdom is a daily practice that lays a foundation for this transformation. It is a way to connect with our Divine Mother right here in our physical human experience and allow her to show us our Divinity and commonality. It gives us another mirror of reflection that is not based in eons of a belief system that we as the embodiment of the Divine Feminine are inherently flawed. We do not need to live in nature to live by this wisdom. We do not need to put our self out into the boonies to benefit from her reflection. We can find it everywhere. How we treat the Earth will transform as we honor this wisdom within our own life. The effect of the integration of this wisdom will reverberate out naturally and transform the collective. Honoring and loving all of us - connected and empowered - knowing ourselves as Divine because of our humanness, not in spite of it, allows our gifts to flow through naturally. The fear of our environment and human experience dissolves. Being human is Divine. Knowing this gives us enough reason to embrace our value, just as we are. We can then embrace our journey through life as an adventure that is sometimes hard, painful, scary and deliciously joyful! We can enjoy the entire banquet of flavors. Mary Lane supports people in living their lives according to the sacred wisdom and intelligence of nature. She ushers them to a right relationship with food, nourishment and balanced relationship of feminine and masculine qualities within. Mary has been a professional chef for over twenty-five years. She is a graduate of the California Culinary Academy in San Francisco, California, Nam Singh's Academy of Cooking with Chinese Herbs and 5 Element Nutrition along with Eliot Cowan's Plant Spirit Medicine. She has a Bachelor of Science degree from the Clayton College of Nutrition. She worked for two years as chef and recipe developer for the highly acclaimed web site worldshealthiestfoods.com and is author of the "Divine Nourishment" column in Sacred Fire Magazine. Mary created an extensive line of plant essences that are designed to support the healing of the feminine, sexuality, shadow aspects and relationship. She continues to consult with teachers on wild food, herbs, sexuality and the healing of the feminine. She offers classes in the Asheville area and provides personal consultations to support the union of body and spirit for deepening relationships with the sacred art of nourishing. Mary's book, Divine Nourishment: A Woman's Sacred Journey with Food, draws upon the integration of her life's journey. Her ebook can be purchased at her website, divinenourishment.net. She can be reached by email RETURN TO OMPLACE HOME